My Word for 2023: Kindness

My word for 2023 is KINDNESS. This word seems simplistic, definitely not as jazzy as “abundance,” “adventure,” or “limitless.” But as we all weathered another election cycle last year, I was reminded what a lack of kindness can do to us, our well-being, our communities and society at large. For me in particular, what has been jarring has been the shift back to “normal” life. While the pandemic was extremely difficult for many on an existential basis, for those who were more fortunate, the pandemic provided an opportunity to slow things down, to be deliberate in one’s actions, and to take time to be more polite, nice, and ultimately, kind. As we return to our pre-pandemic routines, the hustle and bustle of American life have returned along with increased feelings of hecticness, lack of time, rudeness and selfishness. By focusing on kindness this year, I hope to use my privilege of resources and time to benefit others and to be reminded of the values that matter most to me and to my family.

I have talked often on my blog about learning from and being humbled by my children. Kindness is a virtue that my daughter Navya has in spades. Perhaps it’s being the second-born child or because her father is generous and nice, but Navya has been extremely kind and generous since she was young. To be honest, it amazes me just how very kind she is and it is one of the traits I love most about her. Even when eating her favorite foods, if there is extra tofu, noodles, edamame, you name it, she will always offer to split it with the next person, regardless of who they are. We have never had to ask her to share, or told her she should share, it just comes naturally to her. Navya is never first in line, always watchful that everybody has had their turn or taken their food first.

At the end of last year, one of Navya’s best friends was being mean to a boy in their class. Navya had watched it happen for a few weeks. As she recounted the story to me with tears in her eyes, Navya finally told her friend to stop being mean to the boy and now the friend was mad at Navya. I could tell that this was really hard for Navya because while she is a loyal person, being nice, generous and kind are even more important to her. I told her I was proud of her for sticking up for the boy, even if it meant a fight with her friend (and thankfully, the friend came around the next day). For Thanksgiving this year, Navya took time during crafts class to make earrings for all the women in my family. When she realized she was down one pair, she effortlessly gave up her own earrings to ensure that nobody was left out. That’s the type of girl she is and I have much to learn from her in this regard. I want to be Navya when I grow up :)

The importance of kindness towards others was confirmed as I was listening to my new favorite podcast by Mel Robbins. In this episode, Mel discussed that random acts of kindness are not only beneficial for the person receiving the kindness, but also for the person who is being kind. Mel goes through study after study where the benefits to both the giver and receiver of kindness are confirmed. My favorite kindness story that had me in tears was to a comment of a New York Times article:

As a child i lived in absolute poverty with an abusive parent. I had a music teacher who one day stopped while walking down the hall and simply said "Are you okay?", i broke down. He took me to his office, fed me his lunch and allowed me the space to pull myself together. He told me "You are in a bad spot, but it doesn't have to be your life." That small gesture gave me the hope to believe in myself and allowed me to start considering a future where the cycle of abuse and poverty don't exist. 30 years later, he was right and the cycles were broken. That small moment changed my life, my partner's life, and my children's life. Thanks Mr. Z, you'll never know how much it meant...

In addition to thinking about the power of kindness towards others, I am also hoping to be more kind to myself in 2023. As a self-proclaimed, Type A, goal-oriented person, I have always demanded perfection from myself in all areas of my life and in my quest to be productive, industrious and accomplished. I am exhausted. In 2023, I hope to be more kind to and patient with myself; to allow for rest, respite, downtime with my family, laziness, fun and playfulness, and mistakes (occasionally of course!). By gifting kindness to myself, I am hopeful it will spillover to kindness towards my family, friends and community as well.

As we enter 2023, what will your word or intention be? How will you show up for yourself and your community? Let me know in the comments below. And please be kind out there- it may not only benefit one another, but you as well!